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The Famous Darwin Awards, a must read for the stupidity of the human race!

10 simple rules for dating my daughters!

So you want to build an H bomb! (Please see the note below)

So you want to loose weight!

The Monty Python Page, my favorite songs and sketches

 

If you can not find it here ... then you probably never will - Takes you to the Google search page

The Note.

It has come to my attention (and I have been told this), that I must be a "radical conspirator" for having such a page on my web site. That being the case I thought that I had better publish a health warning in case any of you decide that you want to become one of the "growing club" of unique nuclear weapons owners as outlined in 'Build your own "H" bomb' :-

"HEALTH WARNING"

Please follow the the directions as outlined in the instructions.

Providing the instructions are followed to the letter please ensure that the following "guidlines" are met. 

Before following the outlines in the directions make sure that you have at least 50 pints of your blood safely stored with your local hospital  for the numerous blood transfusions that will be required after making the said device.

After following the said instructions please grab your local newspaper and lock yourself in an unlit closet. Please note how you can read the newspaper but that the greenish tint is a bit annoying.

After reading the "funnies", (please do not under any circumstances start reading a serial) you will notice that first wave of nausea coursing through you. It might also come to your attention that large clumps of hair start falling out of your head and what used to be rather large bushy beard is now a pile of hair looking like something the cat threw up.  Now is probably a good time to "pop one last cold one" and grab a map so you can  locate the  hospital where your blood is stored.

If after the 50th transfusion the blood being "let" from your body still glows with a very annoying shade of green and the nursing staff are still wearing their rather bulky lead lined overcoats, you will discover that you only have one option left.

Put you head between your knees and kiss yo...... 

Special Note :- The instructions provided should only be used if you are a professional loony who believes that everything the government does is a conspiracy, The X-Files is a documentary and the number of guns you own out number the pine needles on the last Christmas Tree. 

These instructions should NOT be followed if your looking for a Grade "A" in your local science fair!.

Thank you ...... 

By The way .... the whole thing is a JOKE, it should be read as a JOKE and considered nothing more than a JOKE. IT JUST PLAIN WILL NOT WORK. If you want to really build your own "H" bomb I would suggest a trip to your local library where (believe it or not) you will discover many papers and articles outlining how a real nuclear weapon is made. You will also discover that you can find similar articles on building a nuclear power station. 

 

"Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, chocolate in one hand, martini in the other, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming "WOO HOO what a ride!"

This web site was designed by Nigel Aves. I hope you enjoyed your visit and will return soon.

Questions or problems regarding this web site should be directed to (The Webmaster) Nigel Aves.


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Last modified: Sunday January 18, 2004 .

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